Surviving Transit

If you’re thinking about taking transit, here’s a list of items  to make your trip safe and comfortable.

kit2_buttonBullet-proof Vest

Raingear or an umbrella – don’t count on bus shelters to keep you dry, as they are only  for advertising and profit purposes.

Cross-trainer foot wear – there is still a lot of walking from your starting point to the transit stop and to your destination. Running shoes are good for sprinting between stops, or running after the bus before it leaves you behind.

Seat Pad – SkyTrain seats are stainless steel, designed for people to use them as little as possible they are covered with only a couple millimeters of fabric “padding”. So if you are sitting for more than a few stops you’ll need something between your soft butt and the cold hard steel seat.

Ear plugs – the Skytrain lady on the PA system shouts out every stop and loud dingle bells to announce the door closing, On any trip there will be someone with a really loud Walkman, loud conversations, and screeching brakes.

Safety glasses – I haven’t needed mine yet but they can’t hurt.

Entertainment – for long trips and waiting time, a newspaper, book, games, Walkman (but not too loud please). If your not into reading in a swaying rail car, you can keep your head down, pretending to read, in order to sleep or just to avoid looking (see sunglasses).

Patience – remember if anything can go wrong, it will.

Endurance – for longer trips you will be doing lots of walking, standing and perhaps sitting (if you can find a chair) waiting for a bus and waiting again to get there.

Privacy – bring your own, because there isn’t any on Public Transit.

Nose plugs or N95 mask – for coughing hacking sneezing of cold and flue germs, BO, bad breath, stinking drunks, smokers, diesel fumes.

Gloves – for germs on contact surfaces, rubber gloves or, latex is good. Nitrile gloves are better as they stop pathogens. Wash your hands ASAP after using transit.

Internet Access – is the only way to access transit information, find maps and check schedules. We think TranStink does not provide any other source of information on how to use the system because it might encourage even more people to use the already overcrowded trains and buses. Transit usage will only increase anyway as wages are reduced and cost of living goes up.

Transit map – you might find one well hidden in a store but not on transit facilities because the space is needed for advertising revenue to subsidize your ticket. SEE PHOTO PAGE

Plenty of time to travel – it can take several times more than cars to get around. Trip planner at the TransLink website will give you accurate trip time/directions. And of course, those inevitable delays.

Large bladder or good timing – because there are no washrooms anywhere on the transit system.

Cab fare – if our in a hurry and really need to get there on time public transit does not deliver you to the door.

Flashlight – for reading in buses on dark and stormy nights.

Cell phone – for entertainment, to synchronize meetings with friends and calling a taxi before you leave the station and meet you at the closest stop). If anything happens while traveling from glitches to emergencies you are on your own.

Eye shades or a blind fold – so you don’t have to look at the total losers freaks and weirdoes that use public transit. (See sunglasses).

Gravol – some of the rides really are gut wrenching.

Kidney belt – some busses ride like dump trucks, especially the articulated B-Line ones!

– to help block the reality of where you really are…

Bicycle – just kidding. Go ahead, just TRY and take your bike on a bus or SkyTrain.

Squeegee – busses steam up during rain so it’s difficult to see your stop, and squeegee kids don’t do buses, yet.

Camera – you too can become a famous paparazzi ~ we are offering a fifty-dollar reward if you spot and take a photo of any TransLink director found using public transit. It’s as rare as Sasquatch, ghost sightings or alien encounters. The picture will be worth a fortune as front-page headline reading: “Public Transit director spotted on public transit”

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